The Taboo of Talking
Lets talk about talking! and how we can make this daunting process less scary!
Counselling, what is it ? who is it for ? and does it work ?
These are all headlines that can cover up our hidden suspicions, distrust and fears in the purpose and potential within counselling. I want to uncover some of these concerns to help show you the hidden treasure found behind the often misunderstood and confusing world of counselling.
Talking makes it worse
There is no doubt that talking about your feelings is hard, it takes great courage to be vulnerable enough to open up. Although talking doesn't always feel like an active resolve to an issue, it is actually fundamental in fuelling change in your own attitudes and behaviours. Your never know, being heard might be all it takes for you to have a new perspective, off load and heal some of your pain.
Are you ready to talk?
When I say ready, I mean are you being forced to talk? Are you feeling too unsafe to open up right now? Did you have a bad experience when you did talk to someone? Counselling should not be done to you, it should be an experience that you agree to. It should be collaborative, empathic and non judgemental.
Are you supported?
Is the support you have around you inconsistent, damaging or ignorant? If it is, then you will never feel seen and heard. Support could look like friends who accept you, colleagues that encourage you and family that love you. It's not always easy to get this but I encourage you to find someone that gives you these three ingredients.
Talking is for mad people
Unwell, crazy, mad.. These are all negative and fear based descriptions of mental health. You do not need to have a serious diagnosis to come to speak to someone and even if you do, thats okay!
The need to talk to someone doesn't mean your mad, it means your human. We all need to talk to someone at some point in our lives because its a natural way of processing and without a safe space to be seen and heard our mental health can begin to spiral.
Are you afraid of being judged?
Even though we have come a long way in talking about mental health, the fear of being negatively stigmatised can put us off from investing in counselling. The high demands of our western world can make us feel stupid for asking to get signed off for work or we fear that our world will come crashing down if we stop spinning all those plates and confessing we need an intervention.
Never feel ashamed to ask for help, it is the bravest thing you will ever do!
Do you feel beyond help?
Getting to that scary cliff edge in our minds can feel overwhelming, isolating and numbing and it can feel like no one and nothing can stop these feelings from crowding in. I believe no one is beyond help but it is very real to feel like like you have gotten to that dark place of no return. That is why inviting in people who love, accept and encourage you is so important because you can begin to see that there can be hope in a hopeless situation.
Admitting we need help can actually feel like a huge sigh of relief and coming to the end of ourselves can be the beginning of us becoming stronger, safer and more self - aware.
Stay blessed, Stay Open and Stay Safe.